Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
I'm sorry.
I've been totally MIA from this blog. I'm sorry. I stopped trying. I stopped giving a shit. Old habits skipped joyfully back into my life in the form of fast food, candy and huge portions. I'm not going to lie, I liked it. Bad habits taste good... At the time. The after-taste is awful. Just awful. I've gained about 10 lbs back. I cannot gain anymore. No. No. No.
I'm putting my foot down again. I HAVE to start tracking my food. I do so much better when I do. I got an awesome elliptical last month and I HAVE to start using it consistently along with strength training exercises. I HAVE to remind myself daily that I am stronger than my bad habits-- I do have self discipline.
My long term goals:
-track everything I put in my mouth. I mean, EVERYTHING.
-exercise 5 days a week for 30 mins minimum.
-stop eating in front of the t.v.
-stop getting fast food
-drink at least 120 oz of water a day
My short term goal:
-lose 5 lbs by Aug. 31
What I have been doing well:
No soda! Woohoo! If I feel I need some caffiene, I have been getting green tea or coffee instead. I'm pretty proud of myself for this.
AND... That's about it...
I'll try to be more consistent with writing, too, but I'm not making any promises.... about that at least.
I'm putting my foot down again. I HAVE to start tracking my food. I do so much better when I do. I got an awesome elliptical last month and I HAVE to start using it consistently along with strength training exercises. I HAVE to remind myself daily that I am stronger than my bad habits-- I do have self discipline.
My long term goals:
-track everything I put in my mouth. I mean, EVERYTHING.
-exercise 5 days a week for 30 mins minimum.
-stop eating in front of the t.v.
-stop getting fast food
-drink at least 120 oz of water a day
My short term goal:
-lose 5 lbs by Aug. 31
What I have been doing well:
No soda! Woohoo! If I feel I need some caffiene, I have been getting green tea or coffee instead. I'm pretty proud of myself for this.
AND... That's about it...
I'll try to be more consistent with writing, too, but I'm not making any promises.... about that at least.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
A bad week
Last Friday started a string of days that haven't been kind to me. We decided to work on a landscaping project over Mother's Day weekend which included building a new stone patio and planting flowers in 4 flower beds.
I decided not to workout while doing this project, as I knew I would be doing more than enough and wouldn't have the energy anyway. We worked hard on Friday, shopping for plants, planting one flower bed, unloading patio block, and cutting and hauling sod (rolls of sod, in case you didn't know are freakin' HEAVY). Because I was out late renting the sod cutter, I grabbed a pizza from Papa Murphy's. I asked for no sauce, light cheese and a thin crust. They put sauce on it anyway. I would have taken it back, but I live 30 mins away and was at home when I realized it. Because I had worked so hard earlier, I was starving and ate like I hadn't seen pizza before! It was a little ridiculous!
Weighed myself Saturday morning, I had gained. That is when the bad day started. Scott took Bo with him on some errands, so I was able to plant the flower beds before our babysitter (my sister) got here and I had to help Scott with the patio. I was busy, busy, busy! I was making sure the sod was being watered, my flowers were okay, and digging in the dirt. I was almost done with the second flower bed when I pulled off my gloves to take a little break. The gloves snagged on my wedding ring (I never take it off and have not had any problems before), and that is when I noticed that my diamond was gone. I thought I lost it where I threw the gloves, but the more I thought about it the more I came to realize that the gloves probably snagged because there was NO diamond. That meant that I could have lost it anywhere in my yard. I was all over the place! Front and back! I called my husband crying. I felt terrible. Really, truly terrible. He was due home in an hour and he helped me look. No luck. I got a lot of well-meaning, pretty much useless advice via FB and decided to move on. After all, I can replace a diamond. I'm still married with or without the ring. AND the flowers look awesome. 9 hours later, we were done for the day. A lot was accomplished.
Oh, I forgot to mention, my sun allergy made my arms break out in hives worse than ever before. I was very itchy and my arms were burning like they were on fire.
We ate out that night because we were both too tired to cook. I gained on Sunday morning.
Sunday was a lot of hard work, too. Digging the area where the patio will be, moving block (16 lbs each), and laying said block. It was hard on my back and knees. AND I was sweating like a pig! It was HOT! I had to take frequent breaks because of my arms. Oh, and the diamond still didn't show up. We ate out for lunch and dinner.
Monday morning I had gained so much that I don't even want to think about it! I was incredibly disappointed and upset.
I banned myself from being outside on Monday after I spent maybe a whole hour watering plants, hanging laundry to dry and laying some more patio block. My arms were so bad I could barely move them. It hurt to pick up my child! When Scott came home and saw my arms, he banned me, too. It was so nice out that I was actually devastated to be inside.
Tuesday--15 mins of being outside and I had to ice my arms for 2 hours. Another bad day of being stuck inside.
Wednesday, yesterday, my arms were finally better, but it was raining all day, so we were inside again. During nap time I went downstairs to do a little card-makin' and found that my craft room was flooded. There was an inch of standing water 5 feet across my room! Luckily, none of my supplies (thousands of dollars worth of material) were damaged. I spent the rest of the day cleaning out the room, shop-vac'ing the water up, and organizing a new craft space in my husband's "man cave." He's not too happy, but neither am I. After all, that was my own personal space...I could shut the door after baby went to bed and just be ALONE. Now it could be months before my space is ready again. We found nasty black mold on the old vinyl sheeted drywall, showing us that it had happened before. Luckily, no mold on the concrete block walls.
So, this past week hasn't been good. Not at all. I've lost most of what I've gained by now, but am disappointed I let stress and exhaustion affect me like it did.
I am never too tired to make good choices. Eating does NOT make me feel better. Eating will not make my allergies any better. It will not make stress go away.
I decided not to workout while doing this project, as I knew I would be doing more than enough and wouldn't have the energy anyway. We worked hard on Friday, shopping for plants, planting one flower bed, unloading patio block, and cutting and hauling sod (rolls of sod, in case you didn't know are freakin' HEAVY). Because I was out late renting the sod cutter, I grabbed a pizza from Papa Murphy's. I asked for no sauce, light cheese and a thin crust. They put sauce on it anyway. I would have taken it back, but I live 30 mins away and was at home when I realized it. Because I had worked so hard earlier, I was starving and ate like I hadn't seen pizza before! It was a little ridiculous!
Weighed myself Saturday morning, I had gained. That is when the bad day started. Scott took Bo with him on some errands, so I was able to plant the flower beds before our babysitter (my sister) got here and I had to help Scott with the patio. I was busy, busy, busy! I was making sure the sod was being watered, my flowers were okay, and digging in the dirt. I was almost done with the second flower bed when I pulled off my gloves to take a little break. The gloves snagged on my wedding ring (I never take it off and have not had any problems before), and that is when I noticed that my diamond was gone. I thought I lost it where I threw the gloves, but the more I thought about it the more I came to realize that the gloves probably snagged because there was NO diamond. That meant that I could have lost it anywhere in my yard. I was all over the place! Front and back! I called my husband crying. I felt terrible. Really, truly terrible. He was due home in an hour and he helped me look. No luck. I got a lot of well-meaning, pretty much useless advice via FB and decided to move on. After all, I can replace a diamond. I'm still married with or without the ring. AND the flowers look awesome. 9 hours later, we were done for the day. A lot was accomplished.
Oh, I forgot to mention, my sun allergy made my arms break out in hives worse than ever before. I was very itchy and my arms were burning like they were on fire.
We ate out that night because we were both too tired to cook. I gained on Sunday morning.
Sunday was a lot of hard work, too. Digging the area where the patio will be, moving block (16 lbs each), and laying said block. It was hard on my back and knees. AND I was sweating like a pig! It was HOT! I had to take frequent breaks because of my arms. Oh, and the diamond still didn't show up. We ate out for lunch and dinner.
Monday morning I had gained so much that I don't even want to think about it! I was incredibly disappointed and upset.
I banned myself from being outside on Monday after I spent maybe a whole hour watering plants, hanging laundry to dry and laying some more patio block. My arms were so bad I could barely move them. It hurt to pick up my child! When Scott came home and saw my arms, he banned me, too. It was so nice out that I was actually devastated to be inside.
Tuesday--15 mins of being outside and I had to ice my arms for 2 hours. Another bad day of being stuck inside.
Wednesday, yesterday, my arms were finally better, but it was raining all day, so we were inside again. During nap time I went downstairs to do a little card-makin' and found that my craft room was flooded. There was an inch of standing water 5 feet across my room! Luckily, none of my supplies (thousands of dollars worth of material) were damaged. I spent the rest of the day cleaning out the room, shop-vac'ing the water up, and organizing a new craft space in my husband's "man cave." He's not too happy, but neither am I. After all, that was my own personal space...I could shut the door after baby went to bed and just be ALONE. Now it could be months before my space is ready again. We found nasty black mold on the old vinyl sheeted drywall, showing us that it had happened before. Luckily, no mold on the concrete block walls.
So, this past week hasn't been good. Not at all. I've lost most of what I've gained by now, but am disappointed I let stress and exhaustion affect me like it did.
I am never too tired to make good choices. Eating does NOT make me feel better. Eating will not make my allergies any better. It will not make stress go away.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
One Day at a Time
I haven't exercised since last Thursday.I let some old habits start up again.
I haven't been sleeping enough or drinking enough water.
This is a learning process. Healthy living does not happen overnight.
It's frightening how easily I forget this.
Breathe. Remember-- One day at a time. It will get easier.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Fatass
Yeah, it's been a while. Hope you haven't missed me too much. ;)
So, a couple weekends ago I had a wonderful non-scale victory weekend and am down 25 pounds and a whole clothing size. Exciting and wonderful! I feel awesome every time I put on my new clothes or older clothes that I didn't really believe I would fit into again.
However, I still have a lot of work to do. This past week, I slipped and some of my old eating habits returned. I recovered from my slips on some days and on others, I did not. Today, for example, I ate my weight in chocolate. Okay, not really because that would probably kill someone, but I ate a lot of chocolate. I know I can pick up the pieces of my day and make better choices the rest of the day, though, and end on a happy note after my workout tonight.
Last week I had a bad experience. I was taking Bo on a walk, listening to my iPod, minding my own business when I walked past two girls sitting on a porch. They were big girls, bigger than me, and they were pigging out on Burger King and smoking. Burger in one hand, smoke in the other. Gross. Anyway, as I walked past, over my music I heard one of them say "Look at that fatass. I guess if SHE can do something about HER weight, I could do something about mine... Nah, FUCK it!" Then the air was riddled with smoky lung laughter. I was so offended, I stopped and said back "Fatass? Thanks. At least this FATASS is doing something about it, bitch." Then I walked away really fast because I was a little scared. I know I could outrun them, so I didn't really have anything to worry about, but still. So, I may not have handled that the best way I could have, but it was really hurtful. Honestly, that was the first time I have ever been called something like that. I guess I'm a lucky fatass.. no one makes fun of me to my face. ;)
That little encounter made me want to work even harder. I can't wait to walk by those girls again all skinny, hot and healthy, and see what they have to say then. I wouldn't mind being called a skinny bitch. :)
New mini goal: Lose 5 pounds by the end of May.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Mini goal REACHED
A while ago I posted a mini-goal. My mini goal was to be down 5 lbs by Easter. Well, I did it! In fact, I surpassed it! The day before going "reward" shopping (really, it was more necessity shopping), I had lost a total of 6 pounds! Woohoo! Go me! I am now down a whole 25 lbs!
I got some sexy new jeans and tops in a size smaller (even bought a shirt from American Eagle...(woah, I know... skinny store!). I also bought new running shoes and now I cannot wait for my workout tonight.
My sister and I had a wonderful time. We talked a lot about fitness, health, life, love, music, my son, our parents... I learned some new things about her and hoped she learned something about me.
I also made really good food choices this weekend, which you all know is hard while away from home and eating out.
Yesterday, Sunday, was my dad's birthday. While the year on his birth certificate says he turned 63, he still looks and acts like a 50 year old man! He is an active apnea swimmer, which means he swims under water for as far as he can go. He competes and even held the US Record for farthest distance without fins! He can go about 5 or 6 laps in an olympic sized pool. Amazing, right? Anyway, to say that swimming is a huge part of his life would be an understatement. So, for his birthday, I thought he would love to take his first grandson (MY boy) swimming for the first time! We had a great time and Bo loved the water. He splashed and kicked and marveled at all the other kids in the pool!
All in all, it was a great weekend. Lots of non-scale victories and love. My self confidence is at an all-time high right now and I feel wonderful. While leaving Lane Bryant with my bag full of goodies, a sales clerk said "Thank you, ladies! Hope to see you again soon!" and I thought "I don't!" I like that.
I got some sexy new jeans and tops in a size smaller (even bought a shirt from American Eagle...(woah, I know... skinny store!). I also bought new running shoes and now I cannot wait for my workout tonight.
My sister and I had a wonderful time. We talked a lot about fitness, health, life, love, music, my son, our parents... I learned some new things about her and hoped she learned something about me.
I also made really good food choices this weekend, which you all know is hard while away from home and eating out.
Yesterday, Sunday, was my dad's birthday. While the year on his birth certificate says he turned 63, he still looks and acts like a 50 year old man! He is an active apnea swimmer, which means he swims under water for as far as he can go. He competes and even held the US Record for farthest distance without fins! He can go about 5 or 6 laps in an olympic sized pool. Amazing, right? Anyway, to say that swimming is a huge part of his life would be an understatement. So, for his birthday, I thought he would love to take his first grandson (MY boy) swimming for the first time! We had a great time and Bo loved the water. He splashed and kicked and marveled at all the other kids in the pool!
All in all, it was a great weekend. Lots of non-scale victories and love. My self confidence is at an all-time high right now and I feel wonderful. While leaving Lane Bryant with my bag full of goodies, a sales clerk said "Thank you, ladies! Hope to see you again soon!" and I thought "I don't!" I like that.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
25% chance? Would you?
Sorry I've been missing for a few days. I've been busy. Good news, I've finally made a new friend here! Well, she lives about 40 minutes away, but that's not too bad. We have a lot in common and I'm so glad I found someone I finally just *click* with and it's not a forced friendship in any way! :)
Bad news, I hurt myself. Thursday or Friday I hurt my back. Saturday I ran and hurt it worse. Now it seems I have a pinched nerve or something in my lower back. Pain shooting up my back and down my thighs every time I walk! Luckily, it's not so bad that I'm bed-ridden, but running/exercising is out of the question. Or was. I think I'm going to try my luck on the treadmill tonight. After all, I've made a commitment to myself and can't go too long without activity before becoming a bum again.
The scale isn't moving. I'm right where I've been for the past 2-3 weeks it seems. I guess once my back is completely better I need to step it up and do more than what I have been doing. Obviously, 30 minutes of C25K and 20-30 minutes of other activity on rest nights isn't cutting it. I think I will add another workout to each night. Hopefully that will help get those numbers moving down again.
This is a bit sensitive, but I want some input from others here. As you may or may not know, I almost died giving birth to my first son. There was heavy bleeding and a diagnosis of preeclampsia after delivery which landed me in the ICU for a couple days. Now, my husband and I are talking about having another baby. Of course I'm excited about the idea of another pregnancy, another little one, but I'm TERRIFIED. I've been researching what the chances of preeclampsia are during a 2nd pregnancy, and can't say it's been any help in reassuring me. There is a 20-25% chance that I will have preeclampsia again. Probably a bit more because I am still overweight. The percentage increases the longer I wait between pregnancies. What would you do if you were in my shoes? Would you have another? Would you call it good at one?
Any advice?
Bad news, I hurt myself. Thursday or Friday I hurt my back. Saturday I ran and hurt it worse. Now it seems I have a pinched nerve or something in my lower back. Pain shooting up my back and down my thighs every time I walk! Luckily, it's not so bad that I'm bed-ridden, but running/exercising is out of the question. Or was. I think I'm going to try my luck on the treadmill tonight. After all, I've made a commitment to myself and can't go too long without activity before becoming a bum again.
The scale isn't moving. I'm right where I've been for the past 2-3 weeks it seems. I guess once my back is completely better I need to step it up and do more than what I have been doing. Obviously, 30 minutes of C25K and 20-30 minutes of other activity on rest nights isn't cutting it. I think I will add another workout to each night. Hopefully that will help get those numbers moving down again.
This is a bit sensitive, but I want some input from others here. As you may or may not know, I almost died giving birth to my first son. There was heavy bleeding and a diagnosis of preeclampsia after delivery which landed me in the ICU for a couple days. Now, my husband and I are talking about having another baby. Of course I'm excited about the idea of another pregnancy, another little one, but I'm TERRIFIED. I've been researching what the chances of preeclampsia are during a 2nd pregnancy, and can't say it's been any help in reassuring me. There is a 20-25% chance that I will have preeclampsia again. Probably a bit more because I am still overweight. The percentage increases the longer I wait between pregnancies. What would you do if you were in my shoes? Would you have another? Would you call it good at one?
Any advice?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)